Today I saw stars and by stars I mean ouch!

Today I have a funny story with a kind of sad beginning. The mother of one of my co-workers passed away after a year-long bout with bone marrow cancer. Incidentaly another co-worker passed away Saturday morning.. At work we always take up a donation to get flowers or something. Two other guys and I were in charge of purchasing a large potted plant and a card for my co-worker. At the green house I bent over to check the price of a plant. When I stood up, there just happened to be a hanging plant over my head. I almost K.O.'d myself. As it was everything went dark. Or rather, darker. I was a little worried until I realized my sunglasses slipped off the top of my head and over my eyes. Duh. Would have been funnier if it was someone else.

I just drove past a church that had a sign outside that said "Eternity: smoking or non-smoking". Personally I prefer my soul unscorched.

Another great use for pot!

From The Daily Herald again, another great headline on 18 February 2009 " Gas saver? Pot makes gas gauge read half full" The Associated Press SANDY, Utah -- " A stash of grass can take the place of a lot of gas, but it won't do anything for mileage. A Utah man took his newly acquired used SUV to a mechanic to find out why the gas gauge always read half-full. The mechanic in Sandy looked inside the gas tank and found about 35 pounds of marijuana in plastic-wrap packages that filled about half of the tank's volume. Police estimate the pot is worth about $35,000. The Nissan Armada has had several different owners and was once a rental car. Sandy police are trying to figure out who stashed the pot but say the current owner is not a suspect. Investigators in the town south of Salt Lake City say the drug packs could have been in the tank for months."

I bet that was a shock to the mechanic who pulled the tank. And they say buying a car isn't an investment. That car was worth at least $35,000. So the moral of the story is buy cars owned by drug smugglers or diamond smugglers. Just kidding. Drugs are bad. But seriously don't buy a car from a grape smuggler. Ughh. Bad thoughts.

Hilarious!

Here is just about the best headline I've ever read: "Wedgie as good as handcuffs in suspect detention"
It's from the Daily Herald on 17 February 2009. Here's the article.
The Associated Press SALT LAKE CITY -- "It took a wedgie and a headlock to pin down a man suspected of breaking into a car. Yvonne Morris, a technician at the Brickyard Animal Hospital, says she chased a man who broke into a co-worker's car, but he kept squirming away from her.   The third time, Morris grabbed hold of the man's boxer shorts and pulled. Salt Lake City police say she then she put a headlock on the man until help could arrive. The man was booked into the Salt Lake County jail on suspicion of vehicle burglary, possession of stolen property and outstanding warrants."
Pretty funny. I bet he was embarrassed getting his @&& handed to him by a girl. So if you're having a problem with some guy just remember: wedgies are effective. Please don't use it on me.

And now for your consideration!

Epic pirate rap. Never thought I would say that but I found some of the coolest music I've heard in a while. Just when I thought new rap was just a bunch of talentless crap. It all sounds the same now days. Nothing seems to be new but this is definitely not your average rap. Captain Dan and the Scurvy Crew. It's kind of funny and reminiscent of 90's gangster rap. If you think about it pirates were pretty gangster. They were more O.G. than anybody around nowadays. Check it out.



Apparently there is a whole genre of pirate music out the on the Internets. Pirate rap, pirate rock and traditional pirate music. Good times.

hahahha

I swear that spiders really do say this kind of stuff. Have you ever had one that was watching you? Creepy, stupid spiders.



I have this problem all the time. Plus I type faster than I can spell.

Holy crap

I saw this video and thought about the people who said that a body weight workout isn't good enough for them. Here's my rebuttal.

If you're offended by foul language, turn off the sound. It's just music and isn't 

important to the video.